The Art of Faux Pas #6 - Anne-Mareike Hess

Anne-Mareike Hess is a Luxembourgish dance artist and has been working in the field of contemporary dance for 17 years. Her work has toured extensively and counts amongst others, the piece Warrior which was part of Aerowaves 2020. 

I personally love Anne-Mareike’s take on life, work and her exquisite sense of humour! 

Together we talked about being tutu number 26, about the importance of being creative, living fully one impulse to not regret it, not letting the outer world or definition of success rule YOUR world and the wonderful feeling of herself being in a beautiful place about her practice and work today.

Transcript

The Art of Faux Pas #4 - Anne-Mareike Hess


[00:00:00] Hello and welcome to the Art of Faux Pas. Here, we celebrate the artistic fuck ups, the feelings of failure, the blackouts, the folds, the unfollowed rules, the invaluable learning experiences within the creative process, all this with kindness, amusement, and respect. 

Today we’re chatting with Anne-Mareike Hess.

Anne-Mareike Hess is a Luxembourgish dance artist and has been working in the field of contemporary dance for 17 years. Her work has toured extensively and counts amongst others, the piece Warrior which was part of Aerowaves 2020. 

I personally love Anne-Mareike’s take on life, work and her exquisite sense of humour! 

Together we talked about being tutu number 26, about the importance of being creative, living fully one impulse to not regret it, not letting the outer world or definition of success rule YOUR world and the wonderful feeling of herself being in a beautiful place about her practice and work today.

Léa: Thank you so much for being here today with me. I'm really excited to be speaking with you, chatting with you about all this. Um, to start with, if it's okay for you to introduce yourself, give us your, your name, your age and what you do. 

Anne-Mareike: Yeah. Thank you for inviting me. My name is Anne-Mareike Hess and I mainly work as a choreographer and dancer, performer in the field of contemporary dance. That's the short version. I don't know how elaborated you want it to be!

Léa: as elaborated as you feel you want it to be. We'll elaborate now anyway!

Anne-Mareike: Okay. 

Léa: What, what is your, your first memory of dance? If you can recall it. 

Anne-Mareike: It's funny because it's this thing you don't actually know if it's your memory or if it's just because you saw, , photos of it. And then you think it's your memory. I mean, you were present. I was definitely [00:01:00] present. Um, my first memory, I think it was maybe when, I mean, it's not really dance. I was my, my brother, they were in this, , theater group for kids. And then I was also joining, , and we were doing some, some, , little dances, let's say in these theater pieces. So this was definitely a memory of me dancing and I really enjoyed it being on stage and. Although I was just a, you know, a little rabbit, I was like three or something like this standing on the side. Yeah, maybe that's my first memory. And then a lot of dancing at home. I remember like in front of the TV, um, doing some little shows. 

Léa: And did you know, or did you understand from an early age that dance could become a career?

Anne-Mareike: I think I never [00:02:00] thought about the word career or, or something in that direction. It, it was just something I really liked, and I knew I wanted to do it, whatever that means. I didn't even really know what the possibilities would be. It was just something I wanted to do, and then it went like step by step. First, like, okay, I'm just going to continue doing it, and then, ah, you can do it professionally, ah, whatever that means, but I want to try it. It was always this thing, I don't want to regret not having tried. And then it, it went more like step by step. I was never thinking like far fetched, , it was more like, I mean, I, I remember when I was 11, 12, because I was always reading these dance magazines and then there were also this annonce for like some schools, you know, professional schools, you [00:03:00] could already go as a kid and, and then I was cutting out one of these annonces and I was putting it next to my bed and this became like the thing, Oh, maybe I want to go. And um, but then in the end I realized, Oh, I'm too, I'm too scared because I would have needed to leave Luxembourg and be away very far away from my parents.
And so it was a bit too, too early, but still, I thought like, yeah. I don't know. It's something I, I could do, or I would like to try at least. And then also when doing my baccalaureate, and then I was like, Oh, maybe either I go and study now, I was, I was interested in, in law actually, and in journalism.. So something very different. And I was like, yeah, I can do that, but I, maybe I should first try to go into this professional school just to see. So not in five years, I said like, I could have been but I actually never tried. So this was, yeah, it's something that [00:04:00] always like led me a bit to not regret something to just go and try and otherwise something else would happen.

Léa: And when did you train? Where/when did your professional training start? 

Anne-Mareike: Oh, professional. Okay. Hmm. Because it's also quite funny how I actually started to go to any dance class. It's more because I had like, , scoliosis when I was four or something and then, , and then I of course didn't want to do these kind of physiotherapist exercises because I was 4, it was not really fun. So then they just said like, Oh, but put her to dance class. And that's, it was like, okay, well, that's what we do. Um, and the professional, um, I mean, in Luxembourg, yeah, I didn't say it in the introduction, but I'm born and raised in Luxembourg. Um, I did everything I could. I was in the conservatory and I did like [00:05:00] mainly ballet, classical dance and, contemporary dance, but I also did tap dancing and hip hop and I mean everything you could just find and, um, Spanish dance and I don't know, every, like everything. And, then I went to Frankfurt, the Hochschule Kunst in Frankfurt where the focus was mainly on ballet and contemporary dance also. And then I trained there for four years, and then afterwards, a bit later, I did a master in Berlin in choreography. 

Léa: How long did you stay in Frankfurt for? 

Anne-Mareike: Four years or three and a half or something, yeah. 

Léa: And between your, between these four years in Frankfurt and your master's, did you audition for people? Did you start making your own work? What, what happened between? 

Anne-Mareike: Yeah, I mean, in between, it was, I [00:06:00] think, , two years or one and a half year. I mean, the thing is, when I went to Frankfurt, I went to Frankfurt with the idea, okay, I'm mainly doing ballet and contemporary dance, and I guess that's the direction, and I could be in a company or I don't know. I didn't have so many ideas, but it was still to be a dancer. That was definitely something. Although I already had started to do some very tiny little own work before leaving, but it was still my main focus. And then while being in Frankfurt, I realized like, because you also had to do internships and these kinds of things, I realized that being in a company or, you know, in the city companies or like this was maybe not really my thing because I didn't really, I didn't really like so much this whole hierarchy thing and being in such strict systems and having so little choices, or at least that's how I perceived it, let's say.
[00:07:00] Um, so I realized that, okay. Um, maybe it's definitely more the freelancing, but also there I, I don't know, I started to do already my own research while being in school. So it, it was already an option like that. Maybe I'm just not going to be the, like a dancer, but try to do already my own stuff or combine it, let's say. And then when leaving school, I was dancing with in different projects, but not so much audition. I was really bad at auditioning. I went, of course, because that's what they told you in school, you have to go and try. So I went to different auditions, but I'm just not that type of person that has like a magic moment with 150 other people in the room, having a number or something on your chest.
So it was, then I was also pretty quick, I was like, ah, but this is not, [00:08:00] I'm not going to do it. And it's, and yeah, so it was more like through contacts, people that saw me or, you know, contact me again, or, um, that was more my way to go. Uh, but then I already started also applying for little projects or got asked to do my little own projects, like little research, little pieces here or there, like, so then it was like, ah, but this takes quite a lot of time actually.
I went quite quickly. I mean, I was, how old was I? I was 22 or something. Uh, 21. I went quite quickly into this, spending a lot of time with, , let's say choreography or thinking around my own things or getting together with other colleagues. 

Léa: I forgot to ask you your age in the introduction. 

Anne-Mareike: Yeah, I saw it in the list and I was like, maybe I'm just not going to say it, but since now you're asking, [00:09:00] no, I'm 39 now.

Léa: I think that's also what I'm really interested in, I guess. It's like having conversations with, with people who've had a career already and like, you know, it's like you've had a taste of what it is. Nice. Oh, thank you for sharing. Um, do you understand now, or did you at the time understand why dance? 

Anne-Mareike: Um, I mean, , there's just, yeah, I, I understood at one moment I really understood like, but also the difference between why I started to dance, , which is maybe not the same thing as why I started to make it a profession or work as a choreographer, , and why dance in the first place.
I think it's something very, really, very physical. It really gave me like, , where I could spend the energy I had and where I could also the [00:10:00] rhythmicality. I was also playing a violin and I, yeah, around me there was a lot of music and people doing music. So, , it had to do a lot with this kind of you know, I mean, it sounds a bit, , weird, but because it's somehow a combination between, between something very sportive and you can become better and you can go higher and you can, you know, have very clear goals and, um, and at the same time, there's still this artistic part and the music and the, whatever elegance and the, you know… so that for me, that was the perfect combination that really I don't know. I, my whole being became around that somehow. Uh, but then when realizing later, like, ah, okay, um, this is something I spend a lot of time with and I might do something as like a professional, [00:11:00] I don't know. Um, then it became more like, okay, but so I'm expressing something. And, , it's the, the dancing itself became not less important, but it's definitely not the main reason why I made a profession out of it. It's more like because through my body, I can express things and share them with an audience or with colleagues or with, , the other people of the team. Um, so it's more this body as a medium of expression that I have, , let's say normally high hopes in and that I think is very strong.

Léa: What would you say is your best memory on stage? As a dancer, because you perform in your work as well, I'd say as a dancer for someone else or as a dancer for yourself in one of your piece. 

Anne-Mareike: Yeah. I mean, maybe first as, as a dancer for someone else, , I think the [00:12:00] best memory, , was, um, I was performing a solo for the Choreographer Rosalind Goldberg. And, , the solo was then invited to this attention in Impulstanz. I think it was 2013 or 14 or something. And that was just, I don't, I mean, the best memory, it was also, I cannot clearly say why it was the best memory, but it was definitely like a big step. And it felt like it was so stressful and we were so tense and she was so excited. And, you know, there was a lot of pressure around it because I wanted to make it good also for her since it's this kind of competition and stuff. But, then to be in this, in this old, huge room with these big statues, I don't even [00:13:00] remember what the name of the theater was, but there were these big statues on stage. And I mean, it was quite impressive, this historical building, and to be then there alone in front of all these people, all these professionals, and, um, and I could do it. I knew I could do it. And I managed to stay kind of concentrated and to just do what I had to do. I think that was maybe the best thing about it that, first of all, the surrounding and this whole context, but then also that I managed to do what I was supposed to do, kind of, and also enjoy it, um, and not like fuck it up or, you know, but, , so this I think is my, whatever, one of my first amazing memories as a dancer and then, yeah, I was thinking earlier about it with my own work. Um, I mean, [00:14:00] I also did some pieces where I was not performing myself and I have to say then the memory witnessing my work is not so amazing. I don't know. There's something I cannot, I get so nervous I don't know. It's so hard. It's so hard. It's hard. I would not call that the best memory. But performing, I mean, there are many, many moments. I just really like when, um, I don't know, this moment when you can, when you feel that something's clicking. And when you feel that, um, I don't know, I don't know, there's something magic about it. I cannot explain it. It happens many times in very different ways, so I cannot pick this one, um, this one show.

Léa: Would you be able to, to talk or to say, would you be able [00:15:00] to recall your worst memory on stage as a dancer or witnessing your own work? 

Anne-Mareike: Yeah. I mean, as a dancer, definitely in my own work, , there was this piece I was doing. Um, it was very, very early. It was, I don't know, when was it between seven, I think, it was the very first and, a bit more, um, yeah, work being out of school and like getting some little funding and, you know, and then we were invited to this festival in France. I don't even know how that happened because when I think about this work now, I mean, it was so sweet. And so, yeah, I don't know. Anyway, we got invited to this very big festival, in Lille, it was called Les Repérages with only professional audience. And it was, I just didn't, [00:16:00] I could, I saw, while performing, I saw myself doing it, and I saw myself doing very strange things that, that I don't know what happened. I just couldn't keep it. I just couldn't, I don't know. It, it just went in all directions. Uh, so that was definitely, if you talk about failure, that was definitely somehow a failure because, um, yeah, because I just couldn’t, I was not experienced enough or whatever, strong enough or whatever you want to call it. I couldn't handle the situation basically. Also, I didn't know we were invited to this festival and then I thought like, oh yeah, that's nice. I didn't know anything. I didn't even know that it would be only for professionals. I didn't know that you had to prepare like a dossier and you know, I didn't know anything.
So coming there and then seeing, I was just like, oh, Oh my God. I'm [00:17:00] so unprepared. What are we doing here? I want to go home. Basically, it was far too early for anything of this, you know to happen. I mean, I learned a lot in, in, in looking back, I can say I learned a lot, a lot, a lot. And then I was setting also some, um, how to say some anchors for the future, um, but being in this situation was so extremely uncomfortable. Ah!

Léa: A faux pas. is a socially embarrassing action or mistake. What would be your definition of failure? And has this definition changed over time? 

Anne-Mareike: Yeah, I mean, it definitely has changed. I think, now that we talk about this, like, time where I was in Frankfurt with the education [00:18:00] and then coming out of that education, and anyway, coming from a more ballet background, a more technical background, failure was back then quite clearly defined, like not being able to perform the skills, let's say, or the, um, or not, or maybe being able to perform them, but not in the, in the way that they look seamless and like effortless and, um, so I think that was a big, big part of the education was trying to understand how to deal with your not being good enough. And because there are some limits, clearly limits, that I could already see then in relation to ballet and some kind of technique. Um, and then also the spending [00:19:00] afterwards, many years trying to undo this kind of so competitive way of thinking about my own body or other bodies and, judging and body shape and, you know, all this comes there. Um, but I, I would, yeah, so it's a system, let's say that maybe became part of my own way of being, but it's an outside system. So it was never really my system. 
I would say, um, nowadays failure. Yeah, I mean, there's something definitely when I, when I talked about this festival like 2007, I think there's something when I, I don't, when I feel I cannot handle the situation because in, in general, um, I always have this belief, like if I always try to give my best and to give the, [00:20:00] I say all my concentration, all my energy that is possible at that moment in time. And of course this changes, but, and if I have the feeling like, okay, whatever came out now, but I really honestly can say what I really tried and I, you know, I gave everything I could, , then it cannot be a failure. But if I have the feeling like, oh, I was not able to handle the situation or I couldn't. I couldn't do it. Um, I couldn't, I was distracted or I was not able to fully grasp somehow what, what is happening there. Then it comes closer to what I would maybe call a failure. Although of course I try to not think in this terms, but now that you ask, I don't know that that's very abstract. I don't know if it’s clear. 

Léa No, it is, it is, I mean, I think failure is such an individual, [00:21:00] I feel it's more feeling than a fact, to be honest and it's interesting to see that we all have a different definition of it. 

Anne-Mareike: There’s something about being disappointed with myself. Hmm. Um, I think it, it lies mostly in the relation I have with myself. Uh, maybe less with the outside because sometimes you can, I don't know, you do a performance and you do show and then you're like, Oh, this didn't feel so good. What happened? And then from the outside, the feedback is completely opposite or the other way around. You know, you feel great. And then from the outside, it was like, well, that wasn't so good. But yeah. Um, I would, yeah, then, but if, if me and myself are not satisfied, then it, it goes closer to, ah, why, why didn't you? 

Léa: What’s your definition of success? And has this also changed with time?[00:22:00] 

Anne-Mareike: Um, success. Um, I think nowadays I would say it's something with, if I feel I have options and possibilities to choose. And because this comes together with having access to certain things in order to even be able to have choices and take choices and say no or yes to certain things. But of course, I cannot ignore that there's also this,I dunno, this outside idea of success and I'm not completely untouched by it or it, it comes in phases, let's say, when I'm moredrowning in it or [00:23:00] when I'm more like giving it a lot of importance.
And then other phases I'm just like, I don't know, more released of it and can more focus on myself and my own feelings let's say of accomplishing something or success. Um, I always had this idea, there's something about long term, I knew if I do this, I want to be able to do it long term and not just like having a little shot. So I think there's something about success maybe being related to being able to work over a longer period of time, like several years. And this becomes interesting again now, like next year turning 40, I’m like, Oh yeah, interesting. Now I've worked already for 17 years or something. And there's still so much time to come. What am I going to do with the time? Um, it's not, yeah, it's not even half [00:24:00] through. So, um, yeah, it becomes another perspective. And also the word long term gets another perspective. It's not just several months. And also to then allow change to happen, whatever the change. Um, yeah. And then, then if I manage to stay in this thinking, this gives me many answers about this short-term success and this outside success.
Like now I didn't, I don't know, I was not invited to this or that, or, and instead of getting then really obsessed with it, it's like, yeah, well, you know, actually it doesn't matter so much. 

Léa: Any massive creative or artistic fuck up, something you made, a project you were a part of, a task you responded to, anything, you're just really, hugely fucked up? Oh. It goes with like, [00:25:00] the thought of figuratively or concretely any faux pas on stage as a dancer or as a maker. 

Anne-Mareike: I mean, as a dancer, that's a long time ago, , I was dancing in this, it was actually still in school. And then I was dancing in this Balanchine group piece. I don't even know what the name was, but it basically looks like you have, I think we were 25 or something like many, many dancers with long tutus all doing the same, you know, in different formations.
And I just had a blank. I didn't know. I was doing like the same as the one next to me. Right and left and left. And then you have to count how many times you do it. And up and down and up and down. And then suddenly I didn't know what the next step is. It has never happened before, and also not that massively, it has never happened after.
Where you're just like, [00:26:00] although you've just been doing the same for 16 counts, well, yeah, that was very embarrassing. And it was like, because you've definitely, you fall out of line. I mean, there's no way of improvising around it. It's just like, okay, tutu number 23 is out. So, um, that's definitely this kind of faux pas, like in the real sense of the word. Um, and in my own work, I mean, it's, it's funny because actually, I do many faux pas not in the, um, like in conversations. I'm really the one that says like the wrong thing or, um, I don't know. It's like a bit too honest and it's like, oops, well, I shouldn't have said that or made a joke that [00:27:00] nobody gets. It's like this super dry humor and it's like, wow, maybe this was, no, you shouldn't make jokes in this situation because everyone's just looking at you like, well, so this kind of footpaths I'm very, I know them quite well. And with the work itself. Yeah. I don't know. I, I mean, there's one work where I was completely actually kind of burned out, but I, I didn't manage to either cancel or postpone or do anything, you know, to change the situation. Um, and I also couldn't hand, I mean, it didn't get any better throughout the process. And then it was like the premier is coming and I was just like, Oh yeah, I just wanted it to be over. And I felt so [00:28:00] bad because there was so much, I mean, people were, there was a team and people were so into it and, you know, it's, it's work and it, it takes so much time of your year also. I mean, um, and I felt I could not, yeah, I just couldn't really handle it. Um, so I think the, in, in the, the work still became very interesting. And what was beautiful is that I somehow tried to translate a lot of what I was feeling into the work too, because yeah, obviously, I'm not the only one feeling like this or having these moments of being completely, um, , Yeah, like burning, let's say.
Um, but it was very hard. It was really, really painful, the whole thing. And then, and that was actually a work where I was outside, I was not performing myself. So then having to watch it, [00:29:00] it was so painful. Um, but well, I tried, I mean, I guess I did what I could, but it was I was very low, so it was very limited what I actually could do.

Léa: What do you think is the space for failure within the creative process? Within the creative process? 

Anne-Mareike: Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I think it's every minute, no? I mean, you try something and you're like, well, no, or, yeah, but, or like this, or I think it's just based on failure, or on try and error, let's call it like this, on meandering around. I feel a lot. I feel that in, I take a lot of time creating, and it often feels like I, there's so many weeks where I don't know if nothing [00:30:00] happens or so many different things happen, but I don't even know where we're going, but you just have to try and taste and taste and taste until something tastes, that's it.

Léa: Would you say a creative process is a success anyway? 

Anne-Mareike: Yeah, it's interesting because in order to talk about failure and success, you always need distance, no? You need to be able to zoom out and then look at it and say like, Oh, this was, um, because you're, in a way, judging it. Uh, if you say success or failure, and I think that's what's not happening in a creative process. So I don't know if I can answer that question. 

Léa: Um, what about an artistic product? Would you say any artistic product is a success anyway? 

Anne-Mareike: Any like any, any? 

Léa: Any, yeah. 
Anne-Mareike: Um, yes. I mean, it's so important that people are creative. So [00:31:00] in that sense, I would say yes. And that somebody took the time, how, how much or little time that was to put something together. Think about it in whatever medium, in whatever way is already like. Uh, it’s like a diamond for the world.

Léa: All right. Now let's move on to the feedback part of this conversation. Um, what's the worst thing someone's ever said to you about your work? 

Anne-Mareike: The worst thing? Oh, um, yeah, I mean, the worst things I guess nobody ever tells you to just say it behind your back, but, um, I don't really know. I think something that touches me, or irritates me is when, I think I need to think a bit more. [00:32:00] Um, because I mean, there are all these things like, yeah, it's not really my thing or, yeah, interesting, but that's, I mean, that's like, yeah, it comes in and goes out. It doesn't really stay. I think the worst thing is if they don't say anything, like if, if it didn't do any, anything to them, if it stays like completely uncommented while you have a conversation with someone.
But I mean, there are many reasons why we would not talk about a work immediately. Of course, sometimes it just needs time and, um, but if you feel like, oh, somebody really didn't like it, but then, and now we are here, the two of us. And they just don't dare to say anything. I think that's so uncomfortable and I think, yeah, it's like wasting our time basically. And then also what I, [00:33:00] yeah, if it's a piece with more performers, um, I get really irritated if we then mostly talk about the qualities of the different performers and we don't talk about the work or the content of the work, but it goes into, ah, but this one was really strong and that one, oh, I didn’t. Um, you know, really accroche to it or something. It's like, wow, okay. Because yeah, I don't know, that, somehow it, it hurts me a bit. I don't know why exactly, because it, yeah. How can we talk about it? What, what should I do with that feedback? Um. 

Léa: It’s like a way not to talk about the piece itself, you think?

Anne-Mareike: Yeah. And also it's like, but I did choose these performers. So there's a reason why they're there. Um, you know, and they're just different ways of approaching the [00:34:00] material or, yeah, I don't know. And it's also like, what can you do? Yeah. Maybe you didn't. Is it like on, on what, on what level are we talking about? Is it a personal comment? Then we don't want to talk about it. Or is it like a professional comment? I don't know. It's, it's very blurry. Yeah, yeah, where does that feedback sit? Exactly. 

Léa: What, what's the best one you've ever heard, read, received? 

Anne-Mareike: I don't remember them actually, but, um, I mean, I remember one show and then after the show, there was a lot of talking and we talked a lot and there was a, I mean, very, it was a very bubbling atmosphere, and different people came and they were, they felt, they said like, ah, but now we feel so empowered through this work and, then they all had their own interpretation, of course, of different scenes and so [00:35:00] on. Yeah, there was something that I think that's a very good, let's say, comment that I got. If it did something to the people, or if they tell me that they're touched and then they come up with their own story and that doesn't matter so much. I am very happy that they feel invited to share these personal things also with me, but the most important is this very beginning that they felt touched or empowered or, um, or maybe also weird or a bit frightened or, you know, it doesn't only have to be very positive, um, things, but if they, um, feel entitled to come to me, because that's already something that mostly doesn't happen and they want to share that something emotional happened in there, you in themselves while watching. I think that's a success, I would say. And whatever. Yeah. And then of course, yeah, I don't know. I mean, it's [00:36:00] also nice if, if something is written in the press that is rather empowering or that also where you feel like, oh, but somebody got also what I wanted to say, or like, can relate to the topics I'm talking about, or, um, but I cannot, I'm very bad with quoting names or any of these things. So things just slip. Yeah. 

Léa: And today, how do you feel about your work and your practice? 

Anne-Mareike: Um, today I feel I'm at the moment in a very beautiful place because as I described a little bit before, like realizing that I did already quite some things and that it's maybe now okay to not have a moment of reflection and to have a moment of not, [00:37:00] jogging all the time, like, or running all the time. Because I feel, yeah, it's so, I, I easily get into feeling like running. Always like, when, you know, I have to run behind something, I don't know exactly what, or run to the next, from one to the next, to the next, to the next. And now I, I took actually the decision to, um, have more research time and to, at the moment I'm writing about my work and like to work a bit from another perspective. And also, I'm very curious because I just finished this trilogy about a quite important topic for me. So it also feels like something has been closing, but it's of course not completely done. And I'm just curious how, what other topics are now coming. And I want to give the space to this. Um, and I [00:38:00] go much more to the studio now and just move again. And, you know, there's, so it feels like giving some air and some new inspiration and some new collaborations and some, so I feel in a pretty good place at the moment, I have to say. 

Léa: Is there a quote, like a super inspiring quote or advice you keep close to your heart and you might, sorry, and might help you keep going?

Anne-Mareike: Yeah, as I said, I'm not really a quotey person since I forget all these things, but yeah, as I realized, I think I already mentioned earlier, there's something about, let's just try to like, let's just do it. And what I always say, and people around me are really annoyed by it, but I'm always like, let's see, you know, when we talk about it, I'd rather not take a decision now, but let's see. And then anyway, the decision is being taken. Um, and [00:39:00] yeah, and that in the end, we all in Germany have this saying that we all cook with water. I don't know if you say this in English, you know, it's not that other people have like some other ingredients, like the ingredients are always the same and you just do your own soup.

Léa: There’s a question, I mean, the next question might be linked to this answer. What would you say is your biggest learning experience? As an artist today, obviously you still have 40 more years to go as a maker, at least 50, 60, I'm wishing you 80, but as of today, what would you say is your biggest learning experience as an artist?

Anne-Mareike: Hmm. Oh, several. I mean, on a body level, really this, how amazing the body is and that everything is already there. [00:40:00] All the answers are already in, in the bodies or in my body. It's more a matter of like crafting it out and taking the time and the context for it. And that's so fascinating. And I get more and more fascinated. It's, it's not getting any less. Um, so that's a, I don't know if you call that learning experience. And then, um, this whole thing around the art making. Yeah. It's really this, I can already, I'm not fully mastering it and maybe one never does, but I can already observe myself in moments when I'm like getting carried away, but some outside, ideas of the market, let's say, or whatever. Um,[00:41:00] but I just have to go my own tempo and take my own decisions because in the end, it's me who has to do all this and spend my time on traveling there and, um, having this amazing opportunity where you're not paid. Well, in the end, it's my account that is empty. So I should also take the decisions for it and I tried to really, I think I did already many, a lot of probes in this, but it's, it's a constant process of like, what do I really want? What, what is now? Yeah. Just staying close to me, let's say, and not getting carried away. That's an ongoing, and especially I have to say for, for younger artists, I see this so much happening. And it's the same that happened to me. And that's also fine. But then once, like when I [00:42:00] talked about this festival and like in the very, very beginning, it's like, yeah, it, that was so too early for me, but I learned so many things. I learned that that's not what I want. So. then my lesson is don't do it again. But if I keep on doing it, then what I didn't learn something, but, um, staying somehow with my own values or my own, I don't know that sounds so bombastic all these things like staying true to yourself, whatever that means, but I think it's the essence of what we make as well, right? It's, it's, if you don't create being true to yourself, then what's the point?
Yeah. Yeah. But it also comes to the creation because I, like when I said earlier, all the answers are in the body and there are certain topics like in the last years I was working a lot around the [00:43:00] female experience and what is stored in the female body. And, and obviously this comes with a lot of pain and a lot of violence and, maybe that's not a very popular topic and it's also not always extremely funny to watch it. Um. But that's what had to come out. And it's very important to put this into this world. And, and the formats I chose that were the formats that were available to me. Of course, there are many other possibilities in how to do it, but then to also trust, okay, maybe it's not pleasant, but maybe we have to go through this now and something else will come after that.
It's like a, yeah, this to accept also how closely related to my work is to myself or to my personal development and experience, and [00:44:00] to, to become rather more transparent about it and not try to hide it, but then to find formats that are uh, adequate to it and that are able for someone else to, you know, receive it and so on.
Of course, there's a lot of work around that, but that the core is rooted in me. I mean, that's why I'm also on stage still a lot and I just love it. I think it also has something to do with that there's a strong connection to my own body. Yeah. Yeah. 

Léa: Should we move on to the quickfire questions? So, um, you know, the, the, the idea of it, it's like I say red, blue, green, and you have to really quickly sort of like choose one.

Anne-Mareike: Yeah. And I'm so bad with it. I would rather say like, let's see, but I cannot say that could be okay. 

Léa: Um, so I, I, it was very binary. So I've sort of like [00:45:00] I've changed a few of these, so now there's three options in some, so you'll just, you'll see. But yeah, the, the, the sort of like the game is for you to not to think too much, I'd say. Okay, ready? Process, product, or ideas? 

Anne-Mareike: Ideas. 

Léa: Instinct, intuition, or checked facts? 

Anne-Mareike: Oh my god, intuition. 

Lea: Reflection or impulse? 

Anne-Mareike: Both. 

Léa: Stage or site specific? 

Anne-Mareike: Stage. 

Léa: Art; useless or useful? 

Anne-Mareike: Useful. 

Léa: When creating, music on or off? 

Anne-Mareike: Ah, um, on. Yes. 

Léa: If you weren't an artist, what job would you do? 

Anne-Mareike: Oh, that's supposed to be a quick question. Are there any options? 

Léa: I mean, you mentioned law and journalism earlier, so I [00:46:00] wonder if, like, you've ever pictured yourself 

Anne-Mareike: Yeah, I mean, as a child, definitely there was something. If I would have taken that crossroad, I could have imagined myself being a journalist or a, I don't know, lawyer, whatever you do then with that. There are many possibilities, but, um, but if now I would change career, it would probably be something else. Um, it would, I think I would stay in culture, definitely, unless, the politics cut all the money. Then I have to find something. Thanks. Bye. Bye. 

Léa: Step on the right or step on the left? 

Anne-Mareike: On the left. 

Léa: The right step or a mistake?

Anne-Mareike: The right step. 

Léa: Nice. Okay. Is there anything you want to add? Any thoughts? Any, you know, any thoughts or things you want to add or questions you want to raise or, you know, anything. Oh, I forgot [00:47:00] one. Pilates, yoga or ballet? 

Anne-Mareike: Uh, I mean, ballet in the past and pilates and yoga in the present, I guess. 

Léa: Nice. Um, is there anything I want to add?

Anne-Mareike: Oh, I feel, I feel I forgot so many things, but no, just call me if you have any questions. 

Léa: Thank you so much. We are going to sort of like say a fake goodbye to each other, and then Yes. Thank you so much for all this. Um, thank you for being so generous. There's so much food for thought.

Anne-Mareike: Um, so yes. Yes. Thank you for inviting me. 

Léa: Thank you.[00:48:00] 

BONUS 

Léa: I’m always so stressed about, like, the beginning and the end. Hello, Anne-Ma…… (starting again) Hello, Anne-M. Hi. Thank you. Oh, see? I'm always like. 

Anne-Mareike: Oh, my God. I'm sorry. Did you hear that? No. The playing of my email. No, I didn't hear it. Okay. Good. Maybe I have to put off my email. It's all good. [00:49:00]